Saturday, May 14, 2005

Have u wanted to try BDSM?

I have this survey at www.myspace.com/leatherdyke


How long ago did you have your first SM experience?
When I was 17
Have you ever cum without being touched?
absolutely
Are you able to separate play from everyday life?
yes
Have you ever cried from the sweetness of the experience?
yes
Are you a Top, bottom, or switch?
Top, and I have bottomed, cause I feel one cannot understand what is given unless they have done it!
Have you engaged in role-playing?
many times
Does the idea of submission make you wet?
the idea of being submitted to does
Are you hung up on gender?
no
Are you able to communicate your needs?
very clearly
What happens if you are scared, how do you react?
I get quiet, and then think about what is really going on and then find a way to present it
Do you practice safer sex? Do you understand what it is?
I do, I am a certified safe sex educator, and believe it is important to think everyone is infected with something. Sex/play is not worth dying for...in my opinion
Do you think it is unnessary for Lesbians to have safe sex?
sheeesh how stupid
Have you ever dreamed of being raped?
I have done rape scenes where I am the doer. They were very hot and cathartic for the bottoms.
Have you a written yes, no, maybe list? (write one baby..and send it to me...)
I have, and find it is a good way to focus.
Do older wimmin turn you on?
I am turned on by wimmin any age.
Have you ever been fisted?
yes
Have you read the "Story of O"? If so what did you like about it, dislike?
yes, the mental domination Sr. Stephen has over "O" that she winds up falling in love with him.
Have you read "Exit to Eden"? If so what did you like about it, dislike?
I am into tribe, and that is what it reminds me of.
What happens when you fall in love?
I am more in touch with my soft side.
Do you take medication? Or Herbs?
NO medication of any kind. I just picked up some Chinese Herbs (seakelp). I have been into the martial arts for many years, and thus connected with practitioners in the chinese medicines...I repspect them very much. I
Do you smoke?
I do not, and don't like it in my space. It hurts my eyes.
Do you drink alcohol, smoke pot or other drugs?
I do not. And, I believe SM is best done sober.
Are you addicted to anything?
I can obsess over just about anything...but, I have learned to take that energy and guide it toward constructive things, like TaiChi, Yoga, and my business.
Are you in a relationship? If so explain. and does your partner know about what you are into?
I have one bottom I play with occasionally am in search of a 24/7 if the energy is right. Actually, I would like 3. I just bought 2 more houses so I can facilitate that type of an arrangement.
Have you played with toys at all?
I have a toybag that has become a whole closet.
Have you ever been to a play party?
I am a member of www.desertdominion.org in Tucson and was a member of the Outcasts of San Francsico, and then the Exiles!
What is your favorite type of underwear?
silk boxers...I wear them all the time, they are comfortable as hell
What is foreplay to you?
Negotiation
Do you have a fetish? If so what...
Pens...hold on to yours it is hard for me not to take it
What is your favorite way to recieve sex?
when the bottom is in bondage of some sort, or on her knees suking me off
Do you like back door sex?
yes I love it...giving and getting
How do you show attentiveness?
by placing my full body attention on the object of my interest...this is felt by my friends, and animals, unfortunately it sometimes scares strangers
How many hours a month can you devote to your passion?
depends on the nature of the relationship, since I own my own bizniz I get to decide
Where have you travelled?
Europe, Africa, New Zealand, Greece, Turkey, Mexico (I live 5 miles from the Mex border) I speak some Japanese, fluent German, and Greek
Does the smeall of leather turn you on?
oh yeah...to the point I once bought leather scented oil to wear
Have you ever gotten off in front of a mirror?
sometimes, I love myself and enjoy myself
Have you ever had anonymous sex? please describe it...
twice. 1. I was taking a train accross Europe, met a woman in the same compartment, we did it without ever exchanging names...we almost missed my stop...lol 2. I flew somwhere, and the 747 had the stewardess seat facing the passengers, the woman was gorgeous...had intense eyes...we flirted and then went to her flat in N.Y. afterwards for 3 days...
Do you yell (make noise) when you cum?
You can hear me 3 streets away!
Have you learned to cum on command?
I have not tried as I rarely bottom.
What is the weirdest place you have ever done it...
In a moving train.
Do you get depressed regularly?
No, once in a great while, but I am generally up. I love my life.
What is your most interesting fantasy?
I always love to co-top. The one I have not yet done is where several tops needle two or more bottoms together and then use fishing line to tie them together and then flog...and end singletailing them...
What is your birthdate? After I do your chart do you want a copy? Then give me the exact date, time, and place!
Oct 4 1953 3:00 PM Irvington, NJ
What kind of music do you like to hear when submitting? When being intimate?
R Kelly, Bobbie Brown
Look around you, is your space neat and clean, or messy?
in the middle, I have not had a houseboi in a while
If you find I turn your crank, are you able, willing to relocate?
I wrote this
What do you do to stay healthy in body, mind, and spirit?
I ride my bicycle 6 miles or so almost daily, I meditate, I play play play. I am about to be indoctrinated into an olde tradition!
What turns you off?
people who think they are there to Top me, I know who I am, I have no need to prove myself in everyday life...that is what the dungeon is for!
Are you usually late? Or on time?
On time...I am pretty precise...I see as a way of respect
Are your nails long and polished, or short and trimmed?
short...
Do you meditate?
yes
Where did you buy your last pair of pants?
the Gap
Do you prefer to wear dresses or pants? Why?
pants ...more comfortable
What vehicles do you have if any?
Miata, Intruder, Honda CRV
Describe the first hour after you wake up...
I stumble out to let the dogs out, start coffee, feed the rats, try to figure out my name, look for my glasses, grab the coffee, grab a powerbar, let the dogs in, go back to bed, get out the laptop, turn on the tv, check my email, surf myspace, go over my calendar, flirt, get up and ride my bicycle, workout, shower, go to my desk to start my working day
Do you tend to be a needy person?
nope
Do you prefer showers or baths?
ahhhhh long hot baths, decided I need to buy a hottub
Do you eat meat? Or are you a vegitarian?
I eat organic as much as possible, but love meat
Do you consider yourself sucessful? Why?
Yes, because I have lots of friends...some for 30 years. I have people who trust me, I own "things" and am still able to stay in touch with what's important!
Are you into any type of spirituality, religion? Please describe...
Yoruba, Ifa. An African tradition from Ile, Ife, Nigeria
Do you believe there is a life after death? Please explain...
I do. I have scene spirits. I have pics on one of my sites. ask me about it. A bunch of us recently went to Tombstone on a spiritwalk!
What do you think of knives? Other weapons...
I own several. Swords really turn me on.
Do you watch TV? How many hours a day/week?
just as backround noise in the morning and eve mainly...but there is one show I tend to laugh alot at. It is called "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" with Drew Carey.
Do you have pets? What kind? How many?
2 dogs, one wolf, 2 rats, 3 cats, 1 tarantula
What time do you go to bed on Wednesdays?
between 11pm and 2am
Did you do well in school?
Nope not at all, I had to teach myself
Do you believe in being friends with your X's?
yes, but only after a few years!
What is the most sensitive part of your body?
my neck
Have you ever been tied up?
yes
Do you like yourself?
absolutely
What will you be doing in 5 years?
relaxing, if I work it will be 2 hrs a day max.
What is your favorite position?
TOPPPPPP, and as far as sex...I like to fuk bottoms doggies style! Although having them splayed on some piece of equipment is good too.
Do you know how to cook? Do you enjoy it?
No...and I hate it...
Are you mechanical?
yes
Do new things scare you? Or turn you on?
they are a challenge...
What is your best time of day?
5pm
Are you psychic? Please explain...
yes, I see things to the point I had to see it as not a gift but a burdon
What do you identify as?
LeatherDyke hardcore into butch bottoms
Do you have children? If so what are their ages?
my pets are my children I guess
What do you not want me to ask?
Any more questions...I don't want you to be stupid, it costs me too much work
What do you not want to tell me?
What a pain in the ass you are
What do you wear to bed?
silk boxers and a muscle shirt
Have you ever heard of the enneagram? If so what are you?
yes, I used to teach it I am an 8
Do you carry a purse?
for my biz I carry a bag...I hate it
What is your favorite color/s?
Black, Purple, Maroon cause it reminds me of the inside of a ...
What is your favorite place to vacation?
Greece, but lately I have been travelling here in the states. Next, I think I want to go to gay days at Disney
What else do you need / want to tell me?
That I created this as a tool to make all of us communicate better. Everyone needs to take responsibility for themselves! I enjoy knowing about you so I can interact with you better. Before playing in real life, not just virtually it is important to know yourself, that makes it more fun...I believe. That helps to keep dangerous things from happening. People who are new to this stuff say: "I will do anything you want" sheeesh
You may email this to me

Thursday, May 12, 2005

I must say, gender and orientation are absolutely on the back burner when it comes to BDSM. It’s the kink itself and the individual’s capacity to exchange power. Sex, should, in my opinion be, just another tool of domination!

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Canes

Canes are usually made of a bamboo substance, but over the years many different types have evolved. Contact me and I will hook you up with a friend who makes them. I have made my own. Then used linseed oil to keep it flexible. If on a budget you can go to a flower shop and get the sticks they use. Check the length, or get several to experiment with. They only cost about a buck. Clean it up! Cause if you break skin, you want it clean! Bamboo needs to be watered occasionally. (You put the tip in water for a few days. It will absorb what it needs.) I like my cane to be somewhat flexible. But not so much so that it becomes hard to control.

When I cane bois on their abs while they are doing sit-ups or something I like a shorter cane. Mostly caning is done on the ass. If you have used whips and are proficient at their use you will have an idea of where to hit and how.

The butt can be looked at as a square…and have 6 sections…. seeing the count as 1,2,3 down the left and 4,5,6 down the right. When facing the butt you have the section nr. 1 on the top left and section nr. 4 at top right. Those are big nonos. It does not feel good to be hit there, and it can be dangerous.

The sections 3 and 6 are ok, as well as going down the legs. You must stay away from the area behind the knees! Most cities have SM clubs. www.dungeonnet.com/weblinks/Clubs/ You can learn much by joining. SM play is serious and dangerous. If we hit the kidneys for example we can injure for life! The clubs are there to educate and help us do what we do in the best way. As well as create a safe atmosphere to do it.

Sooooo, the fun stuff is that you warm up the bottom. You take the time to “work” them. Getting them and yourself totally hottttt, caning then will pinpoint the energy! Having set up the scene and negotiated in advance, you are now ready to cane.

Often I make the bottom count to keep them focused. Last time I made the bottom get confused counting, so she was being worked on several levels.

1. The pain 2. The focus 3. The trying to please

Using voice (creating verbal stimulation) to work the scene, as well as physical sensation.

Moving the cane across other parts of the skin, teasing. Allowing the bottom to anticipate the upcoming events. I move around the body…touching and talking. Sliding the cane across her skin. Pushing the tip in as if it were a knife. Whispering. Allowing myself to feel my bottom I move into position.

I tell her to show me her ass. I want it presented…up slightly. This is to keep her attention. Many times I touch with my other hand to stay connected if I am not talking. I let my hand wander to special places. Creating more heat, because I know the pain I am about to inflict will be strong.

I don’t want her mind to wander! I move the cane up and down between 1,4 and 3,6. Slowly. Anticipating the energy I am about to put into her…I make sure the cane is in a position so it does not “wrap” (that the tip does not come around and hit her where I have not planned).

Then…hitting lightly to medium light I find the portions 2,5 and hit. I look for the “right” time and hit once hard on 2,5. Allowing the energy to vibrate through the bottom. Knowing it will take a bit for her to recover. And then I repeat moving the cane up and down on her butt. And when she is ready. I hit again….and repeat…and repeat.

(how do I know she is ready?…I read the body language, or I require her to say…Thank you, please may I have another when she is ready!)

Another way, is to hit X amount of times quickly. This has been called English sets of 7, I believe. Where the Top hits 7 times hard, quickly. (Not extremely hard…because the amount of hits is part of the entire thing).
Canes leave incredible marks, and can be seen as intense as a single tail (which is also used near the end of the scene!) Please be aware of what you are doing. This is supposed to be fun.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Fisting

It exists in all parts of the community, and especially in the lesbian world. My experience is more in the leather scene. When asked if it exists in the lesbian community…I don’t know if my answer is valid.

You see I am a fringe person. The only place I ever belong has been the S/m community and the Martial Arts.I have always been on the edge of the edge.

So, having said that I will think about technique and post in the future. For now…realize that it is one of the most erotic experiences a woman can have with another woman. It works well for us cause our hands are usually the right size.The trick is to take your time. To be flexible. To be in touch with the “bottom” (in this case…the person on the receiving end…oh and many people consider fisting an S/m activity…I actually do not). Being conscious of what is going on with the bottom is, in my opinion a part of the Top’s job! Sure, much or most is for the Top’s pleasure, and that is directly related to the pleasure of the recipient.It means knowing what they are experiencing. How do you know this? Probably a good question to ask yourself!Creating a first time fisting experience for a woman is a beautiful thing. Raising energy and getting her hotter than ever is important. Younger women lubricate very easily. And still, have a large bottle of lubricant available. I prefer “ID”. Years ago I used clown makeup-remover or “Abschminke”. It was the best, but in today’s disease-ridden world…that is no longer an option.

So…1. Wake up the areaGet her really hot; take 10x longer to the point of penetration. As a matter of fact touch touch touch and touch, but…do not penetrate!

2. Go in just a bit, and go outtttt and go back to #1

3. Sam as above

4. and again

5. Careful, you are getting really really turned on, and must remember this is not just about you.

6. Remember to use the other hand to work other areas!

7. As you are moving toward your goal of fisting remember to only mess with the “G” spot occasionally. The G spot tends to create a lubricant that is much dryer, so now is a good time to use more Lub.

8. Realize you can turn your hand. It can move with the woman. You will probably have an easy time to enter to the ends of your fingers/knuckles. That is where is can get tricky. Especially if you do NOT have small hands.

9. A woman’s vagina is able to accommodate the birth of a child…thus it is able to let your fist in. If you take your time, use enough lube and get her hot enough at some point the vagina will relax, and she will let you in.

10. Do Not force it. That is not the object in the beginning. You do not want to risk tearing her! (and then winding up in the emergency room!)

11. As she relaxes you will know. That is the moment to push. Once you are in, stop for a moment and regulate your breathing…even matching hers. Her body will guide you.

12. You will be able to (or the body will force you to) make a fist. I tend to keep my hand somewhat elongated when I am “working”. Although, at first my hand listens to her body and makes a fist.

13. She will guide you by her movements and breathing.

14. When you are done…if you have not pulled out already, if she has had orgasm…and is now wanting you out…have her cough several times and pull out in about three coughs!

Thursday, May 05, 2005

THE MUNCH

What is it? Basically a neutral place to hunt (for friends and playmates). It is a safe place to find out about the BDSM community you are trying to connect with.

What makes a munch successful?

Well, first make sure you know what you are there for! Is it just to spend some time with like-minded spirits? Just to be around kink…

Or, are you trying to learn more about this BDSM stuff? If so, the munch is only a small step. Of course, it is a huge step if this is your first venture into our community. If it is your first formal step….

Realize:

1. You are responsible for your own experience

2. It is about the communication, so if you have not already done your yes, no, maybe list do it
ASAP. It will give you the clarity you need to peruse the playmates.

3. Be careful…we all fall into “familiar” behavior. If you know why you are there…. you will be able to adjust your behavior to attract the type of person you are looking for

4.although you are at an eating establishment, remember this is a about being around other kinky people, but it is a neutral environment. In most cities, the restaurant will not be happy if you show up in full fetish attire and fall to your knees to lick boots. It is actually rather difficult to find restaurants. So, please be aware that we want to be able to go back to them!

5. You can see the newbies in a safe setting. Then next you can either talk to them on the phone…or meet them at the dungeon.

I recommend:

1. You go to the dungeon without the intention of playing…this will give you the opportunity to observe the players.

2. Watching will give you a lot of information. For example does that person have a good relationship with the rest of the community? Do they get respect from others? Are they in a relationship of some sort? ..

3. You will be able to assess the layout of the place. See what equipment will facilitate your fantasy needs….or maybe even peak your fantasy

Remember:

1. These are people who took the same steps once.

2. You are responsible for your experience in our community

3. You don’t have to be an “expert” to have fun

4. Make friends, that way you have someone to talk to when you need to know more, or don’t understand something….at our dungeon we have dungeon masters they wear an identifying armband, or shirt. Usually they will point you in the right direction. We also have an awesome membership chair who is always happy to help you feel comfortable.

5. If something upsets you ask questions, TALK.

6. When you go to an event arrange with someone you trust who understands this lifestyle, to talk with you a few days after the event. Not just the next day, but three days and maybe a week later. This is cause it sometimes takes us a little while to process what we have experienced. Many times you will have a great time and then find yourself agitated. If this happens…pick up the phone.

And just about any city will have a formal SM Club. I prefer this over just plain lover and bedroom play. I believe just tying each other up and doing it with lovers can be very dangerous…physically and emotionally.

Please read some of my other musing to see what I am talking about.
This is a great community and I am very happy to be a part of it.