THE MUNCH

What is it? Basically a neutral place to hunt (for friends and playmates). It is a safe place to find out about the BDSM community you are trying to connect with.

What makes a munch successful?

Well, first make sure you know what you are there for! Is it just to spend some time with like-minded spirits? Just to be around kink…

Or, are you trying to learn more about this BDSM stuff? If so, the munch is only a small step. Of course, it is a huge step if this is your first venture into our community. If it is your first formal step….

Realize:

1. You are responsible for your own experience

2. It is about the communication, so if you have not already done your yes, no, maybe list do it
ASAP. It will give you the clarity you need to peruse the playmates.

3. Be careful…we all fall into “familiar” behavior. If you know why you are there…. you will be able to adjust your behavior to attract the type of person you are looking for

4.although you are at an eating establishment, remember this is a about being around other kinky people, but it is a neutral environment. In most cities, the restaurant will not be happy if you show up in full fetish attire and fall to your knees to lick boots. It is actually rather difficult to find restaurants. So, please be aware that we want to be able to go back to them!

5. You can see the newbies in a safe setting. Then next you can either talk to them on the phone…or meet them at the dungeon.

I recommend:

1. You go to the dungeon without the intention of playing…this will give you the opportunity to observe the players.

2. Watching will give you a lot of information. For example does that person have a good relationship with the rest of the community? Do they get respect from others? Are they in a relationship of some sort? ..

3. You will be able to assess the layout of the place. See what equipment will facilitate your fantasy needs….or maybe even peak your fantasy

Remember:

1. These are people who took the same steps once.

2. You are responsible for your experience in our community

3. You don’t have to be an “expert” to have fun

4. Make friends, that way you have someone to talk to when you need to know more, or don’t understand something….at our dungeon we have dungeon masters they wear an identifying armband, or shirt. Usually they will point you in the right direction. We also have an awesome membership chair who is always happy to help you feel comfortable.

5. If something upsets you ask questions, TALK.

6. When you go to an event arrange with someone you trust who understands this lifestyle, to talk with you a few days after the event. Not just the next day, but three days and maybe a week later. This is cause it sometimes takes us a little while to process what we have experienced. Many times you will have a great time and then find yourself agitated. If this happens…pick up the phone.

And just about any city will have a formal SM Club. I prefer this over just plain lover and bedroom play. I believe just tying each other up and doing it with lovers can be very dangerous…physically and emotionally.

Please read some of my other musing to see what I am talking about.
This is a great community and I am very happy to be a part of it.