Saturday, March 26, 2005

SM S&M What isssss it?

A way to achieve flying. To soar. To get high without drugs. Intimacy to the highest quotient. Becoming an aware individual, having the consciousness of a guru!

SM is many things…and can be different for everyone, but there are some things that are common.

1. It is a fun thing and just like anything else must be done “right”, this is why I began writing. I watch people play at the dungeon, and am appalled at their lack of knowledge. On both ends! The top is “wrapping” the whip, and the bottom is allowing it.

BOTH (OR ALL) PARTICIPANTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SAFETY…NOT JUST THE TOP/DOM

2. To get to that “Zone” we will do extreme things to the so-called untrained eye. The bottom line is: “The forbidden is Hot”. And hot is fun!

3. Everyone has limits. Even if yours are at a different place than mine, a limit is a limit. We are here because we have common ground: “the kink”, and that is what is most important, so we look to give each other the room to be who we are!

4. In a traditional dungeon, there are vibe-watchers, (or dungeon monitors, where some sort of formal identification…such as a certain shirt, or armband) who are available to you if you have concerns or questions.

5. We use safewords in the dungeon. Usually the dungeon safeword is “SAFEWORD” and many players use RED, GREEN, and YELLOW.
a. And please be respectful when playing and use it in the most respectful context you can at that moment. Or at least whisper. Which brings me to…

Top egos are quite fragile… please help us to keep our image by talking to us appropriate when in a formal setting…


Bottoms deserve respect and admiration. When you use your safeword, it is to be respected, don’t play with a top you are uncertain about. That is what the negotiation time is for…it is like a courting time to ascertain who you are dealing with. It is definitely a trust issue.

AND DO USE YOUR SAFEWORD…..IT IS NOT SEXY OR FUN TO PLAY WITH A BRAVE LITTLE SOLDIER THAT SHOWS NO EMOTION AND OVERRIDES THEIR OWN RED FLAGS

6. The longer you are into this community the more clear you will be. In the beginning it all looks like a Christmas tree full of lights. Remember to communicate. Wait till you are in the proper area of the dungeon for this.

In most dungeons there is a socializing area, many times it is the eating area. DO NOT laugh and hangout in the play space, it is disruptive to the people engaged in a scene. And remember:
Everyone’s scene is different…you never know what their relationship is and when the scene starts and ends if you are not involved with the scene yourself!!!

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